<( ' ' )> Tuesday, April 19, 2011
First off,do not dismiss this post as a despo rant by a lonely,sad pathetic unproductive individual of society,(as much as it'll probably degenerate into one by the end,as the angst slowly builds up).For this is in actual fact,a response to a controversial blog post that has taken the Singaporean web realm by storm,and also a last ditch attempt to salvage whatever remains of my literacy abilities,which pretty much lies in shambles since the last CDR post.Content too personal/inappropriate for mass consumption on facebook?Too bloody long for an msn display message?Take it to the good ol' blogosphere.Alright.And so it begins.
An introduction to the aforementioned controversial post...NAWWW!!TOO BLOODY LAZY!!!Read it for yourself here
.I feel compelled to write a response.The guy's edition on girls.Allow me to enlighten you imaginary readers on the makings of a VJ boy's mind.
I shall classify the quality of girls in order of their secondary schools,since it is society's paradigm to define a person's character by her secondary institute of education.
Alright cut it out.It's too painful to continue.Obviously,one did not spend much of his pubescent years pondering about the complexities of the opposite sex or more precisely,the human relationships with them.(since everyone has porno sites for discovery of these complexities)While most ABS(All boy's school) guys were staking out hunting grounds for fresh meat,honing their methods of approach and going on experimental group dates with their AGS counterparts,the post-school life of an ugly,loser VS bum went something along these lines.
-Wan play LAN?
~Scared mother scold ah,she wan me study :(
-Say got project lah
~...yah hor,actually can.set.
And so,many afternoons were spent on the conquest of the numerous projects handed out to us seemingly every single day of the week.Since schools are too specific and wayy above my level of comprehension,I shall use another method of arrangement.*Do not proceed if you are sensitive to homonecropedobeastiality*
NSKs-Sibei song dah!!!Chinese NSK XMM.Song ttmz.Damn cute and cuddly.Lurbs <3 Will probably lose her virginity at 10,fail all exams as a result of gallivanting with ah bengs and end up marrying a rich,sad,lonely,ugly guy (someone like me,minus the rich) once she reaches her late 20s and realises she has no stable income.
MOA(method of approach)-Be the most sat-ki kid in class,have the wildest hair,buy soft toys for her,and whisper sweet insincere praises into her ear.
Atas(smart)-Parents drive her to and from school,takes ballet,violin and high-class external lessons after school.Unattractive,but highest potential to live off her after marriage,if one has no manly pride whatsoever,and a significant dose of good looks of course.
MOA-You don't approach them.They approach you if they find you a suitable husband.Kinda like a job application for a high paying job nobody wants.
Atas(Dohhh...)-Parents drive her to and from school too.Fails all her classes,but who cares?She can just manipulate her parents into feeding her money by taking them on a guilt trip for the time they never spent with their child,making them hope that money can compensate for the insecurity and total asshole-ness she now has.Dreams of being a model (read,euphemism for whore) and will sleep with any douchey jock once she leaves her expensive atas AGS.
MOA-Be a total douche,preferably with some connections to a bigshot in a modeling company.
Everyday Average Normal Gal-Decent grades,Decent looks,Decent body,Nothing special just everyday normal 9 to 5.
MOA-Be an Average Normal Guy with EAN dreams of working a 9-5 with an EAN paycheck living an EAN life,meet under EAN conditions...you know the rest.
Glamour Queen-Pretty,Friendly,Smart,Likeable(In a mainstream sorta way)Usually from dance or some glitzy CCA.
MOA-Be the coolest kid in school,kinda like the most sat-ki,except like y'know in a suave,sexy sorta way.
Plenty more,too lazy to list.Post gettin' kinda long and rant-y.
Right,as a response,I should also post what accomplishments you should have if you beg to differ from my opinions.
1.Have you earned more than 900/month at any point of your life?
2.Have you had a pretty XMM gf?
3.Have you passed Higher Chinese before?
4.Have you held a job for anything more than 3 months?
5.Can you make any coherent noise with a musical instrument?(APART FROM THE RECORDER!THAT DOES NOT COUNT!)
6.Can you run 2.4 km in 15 minutes?
7...I'm really struggling to think of accomplishments here.
ONLY if you have answered yes to these questions are you qualified to debate (or highly potentially,embarrass) me.
That's it for the night from me!