<( ' ' )> Sunday, April 26, 2009
Waffle is so friggin hardcore manly that he paid 1 dollar more on purpose at the hairstylist's just so he could pay the MEN'S rate instead of the STUDENT'S rate.
okay,time for a cool dude joke.
Singapore have bengali劳,thailand劳,myannmar劳,china劳 etc etc.
Which one make the most money?
<( ' ' )> Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Yeah, so I was sitting around one night...reading the newspapers (I don't have a TV set that works) with my...dog(I don't have any friends) eating some...fruits (since there's nothing else in the fridge).When I thought of a great thing to do!BLOG!
So you think your post was long Kaya? it's time for me, the great waffle, to present another movie review to the masses. And the movie we have at hand to decimate, critic and make an absolute mockery of is... 17 again, starring none other than teenage heartthrob (His face gives me cardiovascular palpitations) Zac Afro!
Well, so this is how the linear non existent plot goes in between all the mindless sex. There's this fat dude with a beer belly who wakes up and finds that he is 17 again! HOLY CRAP! As if the title and trashy trailers didn't give it away already. The scary part would be that he is transported back into the 80s, where colourful reflective pants and outrageous hairstyles are all the rage. So what does our hero Zac Afro do? Well, apparently he lives with this really geeky dickasaurus and he's gay. Thing is, he's a circumstantial faggot, which means, he's gay only because he can't find a girl.
So once he realises that he's 17, in the 80s, and without a beer belly, he dumps the dickasaurus and starts things all over again, getting high on cheap booze, dancing at clubs where epileptic spasms are the closest thing one can get to breakdancing, and pretty much screwing every girl he sees, which is what contributes to the movie's R21 rating.
This movie fails in so many ways the sheer numerical values of phails would cause crocodiles to swallow themselves and cockles to bleed jelly. First up, we have the cast. Zac Afro fails. Period. wait. That was only one reason, but since Zac Afro fails so badly, it counts as a thousand gazillion. I mean, who could be more inappropriately cast to portray a person who is the epitome of manlyness. After all, that's what watching movies is all about, manlyness!
So who do I propose take his place? John Rambo! DUH!?
Rambo is the embodiment of manlyness. Forget being 17 years old again. We could star rambo being 17 MONTHS old again! Rambo is so hardcore he would still be awesome even if he's a stinking baby! Going around firing guns that weigh 100 times his weight, blowing up viet cong vehicles and ripping open the guts of viet soldiers before hiding inside their disembowelled bodies and controlling them like aliens. Better still, the directors could replace the vietnamese soldiers (they deserve a break) with ZOMBIES!!! ZOMBIES AND RAMBO IN A SAME MOVIE!?!? I fail to conceive how epic that would be.
Notice something? I coloured Rambo yellow. That's because rambo is so awesome he has got to be Chinese. Oh, and check out the new playlist, although i cant agree with the choice of some songs...
<( ' ' )> Wednesday, April 15, 2009
This better half of the post is dedicated to Kaya's deceased girlfriend(s), Ayumu 1 and Ayumu 2. I have too many waves of emotions to be put into words and I don't know where to start... Actually I don't have anything useful to say at all. Apart from HARDCORE MANLY ULTIMATE YEAHH!!!!! Ok moving on...
Oh yeah! My new mission for JC has been totally prioritized to being a super shinji ikari h game protagonist! My original plan for being a h game protagonist ended up in failure... So was my other plan to get a girlfriend without getting one. Oh yeah that'd be so hardcore. I'd like to pause here to explain my genius. Getting a girlfriend in JC is pretty useless, thanks to our wonderful education system we have going on in Singapore. Instead of making time to spend time with your gf or whatever, u can actually save time and still reap the benefits of getting a gf in jc! Cos it's unlikely u'd be doing anything much but talking about mushy mushy stuff stuff to your gf in class, after school, and over msn, of which i rather spend my time playing h games and surfing doujins than do any of those nonsense. So i came up with this brilliant plan. Make people believe that I have a gf! But in reality i do not. Man that'd be sooooo sweet... Get all those thumbs up from the matts and frequent "HARLER!!!", friendly shoves from them and.. and....
SCREW THAT MAN!!! IM FRIGGIN SHINJI IKARI NOW!!! I DONT HAVE NO FRIENDS AND IM A FRIGGIN PUSSY. I came to the shocking realisation that getting a gf without getting one doesnt reap any benefits at all. Therefore i went back to....
SHINJI IKARI H GAME PROTAGONIST!! I finally found out the reason why a 4d h game protagonist just doesnt cut it... Cos it's 4d damn it!!! So i'd turn myself into a 4d protagonist with a 2d-ish illusion, hence increasing the chances of me getting laid. Oh oh even better! A SUPER SHINJI IKARI H GAME PROTAGONIST!! That's be so awesome!! You can turn people into jello... ( I still dont get the ending to evangelion....)'
Oh well.. Waffle is still at the starting line.... and Kaya is still trying to find the starting line... I took a super detour and ended up crashing down the mountain and burning alive...
Ok whatever.... This post really sucks....
<( ' ' )> Saturday, April 11, 2009
Smirnoff triple distilled is so pure it doesn't cause hangovers. Or maybe I just developed resistance...
After a really fun night,the cool dude management (or just me,actually) have come to a few conclusions about life.
1.American movies are nonsense.The crap they portray results in us never having a single female join our drinking parties,even if Peanut's girlfriend
of sorts happens to live so near me.Why?Girls seem to be under the impression that getting drunk with guys will invariably result in them getting raped.Seriously.Rape?!?!?!That's probably the most mundane thing to do when you're high!Stupid Americans...
2.LAN when high is stupid.stupid stupid stupid!Waste high time..I just fell asleep at the computer.Stupid kaya
produces black puke and coleslaw produces white puke.
4.Bring ear plugs during sleepovers which involve guys and alcohol
.Once the high is over,the bitching about personal relationships etc. etc. begins.Utterly unbearable when all you want to do is collapse and KO.
5.NEVER allow your sly sleepover guests to trick you into sleeping on the floor while they take your bed.
6.Do NOT carry your handphone around with you when you are high.You never know what type of bullshit messages you start to send.Encode all your contacts or do not save your contacts' names.You never know what YOUR FRIENDS will send out to unknowing contacts.
<( ' ' )> Saturday, April 4, 2009
I just thought of the coolest delicacy ever during tuition class.It has the squishiness and sickly sweetness of a donut, the same golden brown shiny skin,the same shiny glazed outer surface,and if that isn't enough.It's double the satisfaction of a donut,and i have yet to come to the mystery ingredient.It's blue,it's flat and it's MYSTERIOUS....
Oh wait wait..Time for a cool dude joke.One day Mr Lee suddenly got killed.But the case was never solved and the murderer was never brought to justice.
Because it was a MISTERLEE wad!!!Get it!?!?MISTERLEE,MYSTERY!!!AHAHAHAHA!!!
Alright Alright,without further ado,i shall present the greatest invention of the century...
THE DONUT BURGER!!!A blue patty made up of an unknown sludge derived with the help of nanotechnology and advanced philosophy wedged between 2 donuts.Ahhh...The smell of genius...