Good evening my dear readers,I leave for Indonesia tomorrow,so before i leave,I shall leave one post for your viewing pleasure.

Sleepless nights.We all hate them.Tossing and turning about wondering if onyx would last two minutes against the ninja turtles and how it would eventually cause the pivotal shift in world politics.Whether the pudding you had for dessert was free from bacteria,or whether the pretty girl staring at the bus stop just now actually mistook you for a giant wad of chewing gum.Mysteries in life no doubt,but even these must be cast aside so that we can get those few hours of precious rest.

So what do people turn to for insomnia related problems?

Booze?

Pills?

HELL NO!!!NOT US COOL DUDES!!!

I shall reveal THE solution to insomnia which will blow us all away and put all drug making companies out of business.

MY SISTER'S KEEPER

My obsession with this film began around 2 months back.Now that things are different and my school actually has beings of the opposite gender,I pick up new forms of news.They began with "OMGOMGOMGOMGOM JODI PICOUT MY SISTERS KEEPER MOVIE!!!",escalated to "ITS TOMORROW!!!" and finally a large wave of "So nice,so touching.Really very good movie.I cried so much" ensued.My curiosity was piqued.What was it which was so intriguing,so riveting which could affect the opposite sex so greatly?Perhaps if I were to find out,I would finally understand the workings of the female psyche,aiding me in my never ending quest to capture that oh-so-elusive girlfriend.

And so I did.

No,not capture a girlfriend.Watch the movie,and i must say,I am impressed.Nothing has been able to lower my heart rate to such levels before.Touching?No.Beautiful?No.But the dog was pretty cute.Awesome storyline?Naw.Got predictable after the first twist.And I didn't read the book.After the first hour,I left the video running and played computer games while listening to the movie audio track.

I STILL GOT THE ENTIRE STORYLINE!!!

THAT is how awesome this movie is.The interesting thing is that after that one hour,the entire plot perked up.The girl started turning into a zombie,only to have her sister confront her with a fire extinguisher.After the sister assaulted her with the fire extinguisher fuzz,A drastic turn of events happened!Aliens invaded and resurrected the sister's sister before blowing up the entire world,killing the sister,her sister and their entire family!And..And..And...

Alright,I was kidding.But i really did get the entire story just listening to the audio.The actors should have channeled their efforts into something which would be more visually appealing,such as....say...A zombie movie!Zombie movies never fail.

Nevertheless,anyone without the XX pair of chromosomes can kiss goodbye to sleepless nights.This movie,packs an absolute knockout.It will put you to sleep.Guaranteed.

Alright fervent fans!Today,I shall introduce a totally new concept which will blow your nose away and revitalise your inner being!Pissing from your behind!

Yes!That's right.Always dreamed of breaking away from the monotonous cycle that is daily life?Ever wanted to do something different for once to glimpse at the traces that make you human and not machine?Well,NOW YOU CAN!This all all you have to do!

Step 1:Obtain these Ingredients
1.$10 dollar oyster omellete
2.$5 hokkien mee
3.Rojak
4.Blackcurrant juice

Step 2:EAT IT ALL IN 15 minutes!!!

Unless you have a stomach made of iron,these steps will allow you to totally transform the way your body works!Allowing you to piss from your behind instead of the front!AWESOME HUH!?!?!

These steps were tried and tested by the great waffle himself.He has been pissing from his asshole for 3 days straight,and has slept so much that is bum hurts from lying down.

Alright.As you all might have noticed,this is the first post in a really long time.And since i need time to get back into the swing of things,if at all,this post shall not have any pictures unless i feel like adding them in some time later on.

You might have watched the overly mediocre movie 2012.The plot was predictable and c'mon lets face it.After watching transformers,nothing can even come close on the visual candy scale.Apart from my current eye candy,eClair,of course.What's worse is that after watching this movie,you have loads of people believing that the world is gonna end in 2012.Why?Just because the bloody mayans said it.

HELLO!If the mayans were so great,why didn't they predict the invaders coming across the sea and bringing them pain and misery?!That's because they aren't great!They just didn't know how to count past 2012,or they ran out of space to write on the great calendar wall or whatever they write their calendar on.So if I were to go ahead and make some multi-million dollar movie with lots of explosions,throw in a few obscure references to ancient people playing around with their sticks,stones and leaves,and say that I am THE MAN for pretty girls to date,I would have loads of girlfriends?Well,that SHOULD be the case theoretically speaking right?!

"Heheheh WaFFLe,you probably can't afford to do that you loser!"Oh yeah?How about after I'm really really rich after clawing my way up the corporate ladder and stabbing loads of ambitious naive young people in the back?Maybe then I'll make the movie.

"Huhuhuh.WaFFLe,you're so silly.With millions of dollars you could have all the pretty young girlfriends you want!"Duh?I just wanted to prove my point that people are dumb enough to believe everything they see in a movie.

Nevertheless,I am a Singaporean.And Singaporeans always have a back-up plan on hand JUST IN CASE the world DOES end in 2012.

We(The CDR crew and affiliates) will have this huge underground bunker with watchtowers for us to snipe and lob explosives at the zombies. "HUH?WHAT ZOMBIES?" well,you don't really expect the world to end without zombies do you?Zombies are the essence of End of Worlds.

The bunker will be totally natural disaster proof and will be able to swim,cross land and fly to outer space at speeds not conceivable to the mainstream imagination of mainstream people.Notice that I used the singular form of imaginations even though people is plural and many people are expected to have many imaginations?well,that's because mainstreamers,yes you guessed it!They have only one mind.The mainstream mind.

Well,even though the bunker will ensure our survival,we won't be needing it.We will stockpile loads of psychedelic inducing chemical substances to give us the highest high chemicals can offer when shit starts going down.Then Peanut can use the safety of the bunker to lure loads of little girls into the bunker for his nefarious deeds while Kaya runs onto the street having fun with corpses.Me?I'll probably take twice the dosage everyone did and be in a corner of the bunker giggling away and drooling onto the floor.

Well that way I'll survive the apocalypse?HELL NO!Because being CDR,some bloody idiot is bound to forget to close the door.