<( ' ' )> Sunday, June 29, 2008
Alright!ITs finally time for the long awaited instructions on what to do at the ice skating ice!
Well,at the ice skating ice,you should...
Ice skateposted by CherryDonut @ 13.09pmKIDDING!!!What you should REALLY do at the ice skating ice is to.....
No.seriously.Don bother scrolling down.This is all the wisdom i have to impart.The simple messages are the best....
<( ' ' )> Sunday, June 22, 2008
Peanut here. Ok here are some examples whereby coolness can happen in legal matters. Little something found by Muffins (thanks lots man...). Without further ado...Explanations of accidents made on Insurance claim forms. (ACTUAL CLAIMS)
* Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
* I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
* The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law and headed over the embankment.
* In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
* I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
* I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
* I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
* As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
* To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
* My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
* An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
* I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
* The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
* I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
* The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
* I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
* The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.
and to finish off. why is Mario Kart so cool? please consider this article.
Ok peanut signing off...
<( ' ' )> Friday, June 20, 2008
Update:Our cool dude movie is going pretty well,taking in to consideration the budget,or complete lack of any,we are working on...
To start things off,I'm sure all you aspiring cool dude readers know what an ice skating ice is.(Since i am not sure if its ice skating rink or ring.So lets just call the place,ice.)In case you don't,an ice skating ice is a place with a floor of ice for you to ice skate.(Duh?)That was such an enlightnenment...
I shall follow the same format i used for the coolness at the beach post.Dress code,followed by activites.
This is an incredible opportunity for all you cool dudes to have some REAL fun with your hair.For once,discard your wax and clay.Use gel for a change,the ultra hard type.Make sure your hair goes into spiky overdrive.Reasons for this?Wipeouts will be incredibly cool.After the gel gets frozen,a wipeout will result in fascinating visual effects,namely your hair shattering and creating beautiful sparks as you scrape your head against the floor.
Hey!Cool dudes have to STAY cool.So screw the typical wooly mammoth outfit.Instead,wear the same stuff you would wear to the beach!No shirt,and instead of the surf shorts,wear hot pants.No.I did not mean it literally.Wear those really tight really short pants.All for the sake of keeping the parts that are important to you from getting frostbite,but at the same time making sure the rest of your body is cool.
At NO time should you seem as though you do not know how to ice skate.Even though i know you bumbling wanna-bes don't.When you feel yourself about to be displaceds irreversibly from your equilibrium,when your weight no longer acts through your centre of gravity,resulting in a turning effect,you know that falling is inevitable.However,you can save yourself lots of embarrasment by simply dropping down into some cool b-boy postitions
EDIT:A cooler name for this is the pretzel.Inspired by don mess with da Zohan.Disco Disco!!!
<( ' ' )> Wednesday, June 18, 2008
2 things i learnt from the great muffin
1.Rice is more of a vege than a carbohydrate
2.Jellyfish are not fish,they are a jelly.
<( ' ' )> Thursday, June 12, 2008
ok peanut here. i'm posting this to document our recent cool dude outing, and i'm doing this for A: I've neglected this blog for too long B: I'm at my cousin's house and don't know what to do (they're watching soccer right now Czech republic vs Portugal) C: Stop waffle from complaining about not posting anything for so long D: Trying out my cousin's cool wireless keyboard which can't play o2jam for nuts. So anyway, i shall follow the example of so many dumbdumbs out there blogging useless mundane and utterly boring recordings of they're idiotic live stories. so anyway...
5th of June : Iceskating outing (cooldude)
Waffle came up with the ingenious idea of going to kallang to iceskate, after two failed attempts at rollerblading. initially i was apprehensive, but was finally convinced that i should go to since i'm not the only one who sucks at rollerblading, so we decided to meet at kallang mrt at 11.30 am. So dressed in a shirt and semi long pants with ultra small pockets, I arrived there at 11.15, and decided to wait at the bus stop cos i did not want to be associated with the uncool dudes and dudettes sitting on the steps leading to the mrt station. I don't want to ruin my ultimate cool image.
So after meeting with kaya and waffle, a series of unfortunate events began to unfold. no wait. you could say it already has. starting with...
Muffin's (muffin is an affiliate of coolduderesource) friend had apparently took the train the wrong direction ( he actually lives 4 stops away from kallang mrt) and had to take the train going the right direction back. and guess what was the time when he arrived? 12.30 pm. and what time was the shuttle bus leavnig? 12 pm! But great news! We just received a call from our totally reliable indian friend that the shuttle bus service DOESN'T START UNTIL 3PM! oh wow. and we thought that people who strike 4d are lucky... however, things took for the worse. It started to pour heavily, and by directions from our totally reliable and loyal indian friend, who was supposed to lead us there but instead chose to take his father's car to the place, we were told to cross the road to the "bus stop", in the middle of the pouring rain, with.... one pathetic umbrella sponsored by me. We did manage to get across to the "bus stop" while being soaked in the process. however, we were met with a couple of rotten tables and chairs, and one vending machine on which had been pasted a miserable piece of paper "Bus/Taxi Stob <---" Great. It was obvious that where we were WASN't the bust stop. thanks alot, reliable and loyal indian friend.
so I, volunteering to scout the bus stop had to run for about two minutes there and back in the pouring rain with my pathetic umbrella which offered no protection whatsoever to my pants, shoes and socks. after returning, we had to take turns using the umbrella. so after 10 minutes of slaving away, braving both the weather with a pathetic umbrella and the empathetic gaze of a nearby taxi driver, we finally made it, soaked even more than before. and so we waited for perhaps 20 minutes for bus 11 to arrive. and to somehow rub it in, the rain actually STOPPED after 3 bus stops. great... and even though it was cold inside the bus, we weren't freezing. not because we were thick skinned, but bcos we're cool ^^. so we finally arrived at the place, with our reliable and loyal indian friend proudly proclaiming that he scored 1XX score in bowling while we were suffering in the rain and mud and what not. so we went to the iceskating counter to pay money. actually it was quite cheap, ok fine relatively cheap. ok fine not cheap at all. we also discovered that we had to bring in gloves, and if you didn't have any, you would have to buy it from them. and so i paid 2 bucks... for a pair gloves which had both style and poise, and also so elegantly designed: a pair of worker gloves.
and so we entered the ice skating ring, which somehow had an enormous gap in skill (none in the middle). you could see skaters doin twisters (official peanut name of move) and jumps. and at the same time you could see kids holding on to a strange device which oddly looked like a lawnmower withou the motor. good thing was that it wasn't as cold as i imagined, unless you fell down. and so... the rest of our adventures would be continued by waffle. pictures soon to come, if i feel like it....
Peanut, signing off.
<( ' ' )> Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Notice that some of us have not been posting regularly?Thats because we are taking on a major project!Making our first cool dude movie!We don't have our own digicam,so donations are appreciated. PAYPAL VERIFIED.CLICK TO DONATE.
Kidding.After all,grainy handphone videos are just as cool,if not even cooler.
I am bringing proof of just how cool I am,by posting a picture that will,no doubt,exemplify what types of cool achievements everyone should have.So,without further ado...
Click on picture for more detailed view.
I know.You are speechless.Simply overwhelmed by the coolness.This is what cool O level students do during the June holidays....
<( ' ' )> Friday, June 6, 2008
I just realised something.People post like crazy on their blogs.About absolutely irrelevant nonsensical boring bits of their mundane lives.
Eg.AHHHH so much homework!!AHHHHHHH!!!F*** O level lar.F*** my (insert family member).Bloody (insert weird hokkien acronyms here.Such as JNNCASJSHFUIEROLSMVIE)!!Hope they all faster go and die lar!Make me pick up one piece of dust from the floor!
Absolutely entertaining to read these types of rambling posts.
Ugh went off topic.Alright now that you are at the beach,and you are aesthetically appealing (to the birdies pecking at your hair.Wax makes good hard nests),its time to get down to what cool dudes should do at the beach!
First off,Soccer.Yes!No cool dude outing to the beach is complete without this absolutely complex game of i-chase-the-ball-like-mad-for-2-minutes-then-all-of-a-sudden-i-dont-want-it-anymore-and-kick-it-to-some-guy-standing-in-a-net.Be sure to bring a soccer ball.Then,take off your T-shirts.YES!Even the full bodied cool dude,and start kicking the ball across the pedestrain walkway(Even though there is a grass patch near the sand).Start running all over the place and dripping your sweat all over the hapless passer-bys.For a more intense game,take it
to the cycling path.Then you can play evade the cyclist and kick a ball around.How fun.
Second,Vending machines.Now that you all are hot,sweaty,smelly and dehydrated,go in a group to the nearest vending machine to get some drinks.Do this in a group,so that the stench of your nitrogeneous waste product saturated sweat will be amplified 200000 times over.Start making loads of noise when the machine eats your money.It will happen to at least one of you,trust me.Even non biological matter is susceptible to the adverse health effects of body odour.When this happens,fall to your knees and start saying things like "I trusted you!" and "I am hurt by your betrayal!",then start making a lot of noise and shaking the machine.(Even if there happens to be a number to call in case of such events.)To be a real cool dude,finish up by sticking a leaf or twig into the coil slot as you leave.Hey.If i do not get my drink,nobody is having it!
Third.Dig a 30kg fishing net out of the ground.This can be used for your future soccer games at the beach."huh?But should't that be done BEFORE playing soccer?"Nope,because cool dudes simply love soccer so much they can't think what to do BEFORE the game.Apart from kicking the ball across roads and into windows trying to act like Wayne R**ney,Arnold Swordzernigger,Michael Shoemarker or Ronald Su**lo.(Pro soccer players.I think.)
Oh well,I guess that will be it,despite being a cool dude myself,I do not go to the beach often,and i do not know the latest activities to do.The aforementioned ones are classics that will never die.Waffle/CherryDonuts,signing off.
<( ' ' )> Monday, June 2, 2008
All cool dudes need to hang out somewhere,and what better place is there than the beach.It is,after all,free.A day of painful sunburns,sand saturated clothes and sweat drenched shirts awaits you cool dudes!!!But wait,you need to be prepared for a day at the beach,and this post will teach you exactly how to do so.
Dressing.What comes to your mind when the phrase dressing to go to the beach is mentioned?A muscular dude wearing a straw hat,hawaiian shirt,dark sunglasses and beach shorts spread out under a beach umbrella with a cold martini in hand?If it is...You are pathetically uncreative!(which is expected from cool dudes anyway.Big deal...)
To begin,you should rally a bunch of friends.Noone likes to go to the beach and gaze at the sprawling ocean alone.Unless of course,you are contemplating suicide.
On the morning of the proposed outing,go to the beach 1 hour EARLY.This is not the time to be fashionably late.Wear beach shorts from Australian surf brands such as Billa***g or R*p**rl.Not wearing a shirt would go well with your scrawny physique.If you are full bodied (aka. FAT) wear a really tight sleeveless shirt.To show off your...you know...hot bod?
Things are going to get real confusing now.Do NOT style your hair into the porcupine-durian or lion-asparagus style YET.These may look great when you are at the zoo(inside the enclosure),but not at the beach.Instead,bring along a tub of hair wax,the flexible type,and go to the beach with your out-of-bed hair.Another reminder,remember to do this REALLY EARLY.Like say...6 in the morning.
Now,upon your arrival,silently shift away from the patches of elderly folk doing their taichi exercises,secrecy is important.Find a secluded spot on the beach,(AWAY FROM THE WAVES you idiot!It will be troublesome to move your puffed up body from the beach),and slather no less than a 1 litre tub of hair wax onto your hair.Now simply pretend to meditate on the beach,as the sea breeze weaves its way through the many gaps between your hair,styling it for you.I know,i am a genius.
As your friends begin to arrive,you can greet them with your new natural beach hairstyle,and introduce them to the birds which have settled in your hair to gather materials for their nests.