Our dear (imaginary) readers..Too long have we had a lousy relationship,absolutely impersonal and all that.To start the new year,I would like to take the relationship to the next level,by posting pictures of our real life selves!You know how web idols post their pretty pictures all over their blogs and get loads of fanboys/fangirls?Yeah,We're doing the same thing,except unlike them,we have taken the decency to visually enhance our images to make us look even shuaier than we already are.


Starting from the top,Peanut,me and then some random dude who hangs out with us.




Come on fangirls...yeah..it will work.Fangirls are flocking to know the super shuai us in real life

After the last post,I wallowed in my sorrow,lamenting how severe the degradation of movies has become,until a super cool dood told me to watch a certain kick-ass movie.

RAMBO!

I have to say that this movie is EPIC AWESOME!For one,there is ABSOLUTELY NO ROMANCE throughout the entire film,which was disappointingly short at under an hour,excluding the parts without violence.However,I was glad to notice that extreme violence is still present,which has over the years,been left out of most movies outside the horror genre to cater to little kiddies and their families,or icky teenage girls swooning over their super shuai idols.Needless to say,i am shuaier,so i don't see what the big deal is about.

Being an absolutely stuck up asshole,I must still find things to gripe about in this awesome movie.

1.Not enough violence.They should totally skip the first part.Screw the plot.Nobody needs a story.Just jump into the fighting and include a bonus 3 hour long footage of mindless extreme blood and gore.

2.There is a female side character.Damn it,from past experiences,female side characters do nothing but create complications,slow the main hero down and lower the violence o meter.Hey,I admit I am a sexist,but I'm not saying all female characters suck.Ada Wong,Jill Valentine etc. etc. from resident evil kick ass.Apart from Ashley.Useless little whiner...And lets not forget the females from tekken,99 nights,dynasty warriors...See?I'm not a total asshole after all!I acknowledge contributions females make!

3.More blood needed.Oh wait...I think that and not enough violence are synonymous...

To sum things up,violence kicks romance's ass ANYTIME!

In the meantime,I shall wait for Red cliff 2.Though it's not very high on gore,it is an extremely manly show.The scene about the old man and the ox made me cry buckets from the sheer manlyness the general displayed.THAT is what real tear jerkers should be made of,not stupid divorces,slapping and family disputes.

which is our site. duh. anyway peanut here. If you haven't noticed already, I'll put it in bold. THERE IS A NEW MUSIC PLAYLIST AT THE SIDE ABOVE THE CHATBOX. Although I think the playlist itself is so much bigger than mere bold words, if you haven't noticed that thing which plays music once you enter our site, I don't think you'll ever notice it till you die. Anyway why the sudden addition to our already cool site? We've been starting to explore new previously unexplored realms, and we're taking you on this incredible journey: To rid your mind of ultimately trashy pop music from the likes of the Johannes Brudders and the Rigunna. Lemme post one of the lyrics of one of the songs of our special selection.

Express Love (lyrics):
Show me tonite that you're not a venture
That you can love me with another spirit
Give me the life as you were the nature
What is the reason why you keep me waitin'

I don't wanna be losing you
Don't you see that
I can't live another day without you
But you're teasing me
You just give an

Express love
And I cry (die) for you tonite
And I'm dying (crying) but you, you give an
Express love
Stop for a while and think of me
To be part of my life so you can
Express love

Why can't you see
That my heart is breaking
Tonite I gotta make you feel I love you
Want me to try dancing in the bedroom
But I don't wanna be the one night story

Does the music lyrics makes sense? It does if you're cool. But that's a long arduous process. So what's the difference between trashy pop and cool music before you become as cool as us? The music. Well that helps a lot...

Kidding. This shit makes you high. Trashy pop music does not. And it's equally senseless. Why crack your brains over spastic music which is bound to decrease your iq without enjoying it first, while you can go through the process while enjoying it? And the lyrics, if any, is unlike trashy pop music which actually try to make sense, but can't. The lyrics, as shown in the example above, doesn't make sense to the extent that it becomes hilarious! Hehehe...

The only good music nowadays are the unpopular music. It's a pretty obvious fact why this is so. Simply because of the rarity of cool dudes, like us.

Another reason why you need to listen to our music, is because our posts are cool. Uncool music + cool reading material, will cancel each other out, and implode your brain, or whatever's left of it anyway. This is for your own safety. So turn off that 98.7 FM or whatever you have going on, and turn up your speaker volume. DJ Peanut and DJ Waffle will bring you the best selection of cool music. Diu diu diu diu~~~! Turn up the bass!

Another one of life's greatest mysteries has left me absolutely befuddled.There seems to be a magnetic attraction that draws silly gushing teenage girls to cinemas in hoards to watch the vampire romance movie tweelai(name edited to bypass copyright nonsense).It does not seem very surprising at first,looking at the magnificently rendered CG scenes from the trailer,though it comes no where near to Transformers,the only movie I have watched and left the cinema feeling willing to have part with my money.

The part that truly confuses me is that they watch the movie over and over again,with some running across the causeway to watch it before it screens in cinemas here!Goodness me.The CG effects aren't even all that top rate!And then i find out something that seeks to make the image of a typical female even more idiotic in my mind.THEY WATCH IT FOR THE ROMANCE!!!

I seriously fail to see how anyone could be such a moron.I mean,haven't we seen this vampire x human thing before?Edison Chen did it with twins effect,which was pretty cool,i must admit.But surely not cool enough for me to watch it more than once.The plot is so absolutely predictable!Without having watched Tweelai myself,i shall come up with a quick plot break down.

Scene 1:
Ancient vampire meets young human chio Bu.
Scene 2:
Romantic nonsense begins.He chats her up,kiss kiss,hug hug...Yuck yuck.

Scene 3:Ultimate vampire evil boss appears.He needs the blood of the specific girl.Who coincidentally *gasp* happens to be the chiobu Mr vampire is going out with.


Scene 4:
Ultimate vampire evil boss kills girl and drinks her blood.Transformation to ultimate godly evil boss mode begins.


Scene 5:
Mr vampire gets really really upset and turns into a super Saiyan,vowing to take revenge on ultimate vampire boss.A fierce battle ensuing 99 nights begins.An entire city is devastated.Both parties die in a dramatic dissolving into ash.

Scene 6:
During the ferocious battle,a secret underground laboratory belonging to Umbrella corporation is destroyed.The latest deadly Z virus is released.Zombie infection begins.

Scene 7:
Unable to contain the outbreak,the chinese military enlists the help of Aliens.However..The aliens betrayed them...
Ok.I got lost after the romantic part.I simply cannot conceive any scenes of romance and have a very low tolerance for romance in films.(Squirmed in my seat watching the kissing scene in spider man)Situations like these are what makes me consider accepting a girl into the editorial panel of CDR...

And another one for your aural indulgement...Nature of sauce is the same as the first

http://ifile.it/7an4eq9

unfortunately, this video is not the video which we have been talking about the past few months. but i hope you guys don't mind. Coolduderesource presents:



man youtobe's upload speed is SO fast. all hail bandwidth suckers.

Url: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9JKskT2mK0

Moonlight shadow remix

After watching resident evil degeneration,I gained a sudden burst of inspiration and came to a major realisation that...Singapore's 3D animation really sucks shit.Sing to the dawn cant even compare to this on ANY scale!Apart from the scale of poor animation of course.

But a more important thing we all should know,is that it can happen ANYTIME,ANYWHERE to ANYONE!A zombie invasion that is.With terrorism reaching an unprecedented level of complexity and planning,as proved by the mumbai bombings,it is only a matter of time before they bring in biochemical weapons and start turning people into mindless zombies.

WE MUST BE PREPARED!

And how,you ask,can we protect ourselves from ravenous zombies when we reside in a country which makes owning firearms illegal?That is simple.With my knowledge and expertise in this field,I shall share several techniques to take out zombies in hoards.

1.Water gun flamethrower.Rather obvious huh?

2.Matt shield.Simply tell them that the zombies are a SOCCER team who said that the matts have no SOCCER skills whatsoever.The matts will be infuriated and charge headfirst into the fray with soccer balls,and start playing a mindless game of SOCCER with the equally mindless zombies.Of course,the zombie team will keep increasing in numbers,while the converse happens to the matt team,which isn't really fair for them...But who cares?It gives the Chinese time to carry out their sly plan.Which brings me to point 3.

Now that we all know how to protect ourselves from zombies,lets all do our part to make Singapore a zombie-free society!

Yes.I know you're very grateful for this article you MDA watchdog looking at this site....

pardon my spelling... *cough* ok cool dudes! im back! from the great land of Britain. Frankly I was pretty disappointed with the trip.... The music there sucks. The people there are too tall (or I'm too short, most likely the latter). Everything is pretty much VERY expensive (exchange rate ₤1 = SGD$ 2.30, lucky us actually). So in the end, I didn't buy anything home, and my mum had a whale of a good time walking round Oxford Circus shopping for hours (8 and a half hours per day to be exact) and buying nothing home. Oh well I didn't go home empty handed. I brought home myself as a souvenir (narcissistic aren't I?). Anyway enough of my blabbering, a faint hearted attempt to mimic uncool individuals who blog incessantly about their mundane holidays. Time to get to the cool stuff.

Let's address last last week's burning question. Why do big gigantic robots doing battle with other... big gigantic robots seem so interesting?
ahh the beauty of it all. Come to think of it, there are many animes which i can think of which involve big gigantic robots. Gundam, Evangelion, Code Geass, Bleach, Naruto, Hayate no gotoku and many many more. So what's up with all the hype? Let's find out.

Characteristics of big gigantic robots:
They look exactly like the image which comes to mind when you imagine "big gigantic robots". Talk about originality... Ok ok I'll describe them to you.... They usually have a (gigantic) head, 2 (gigantic) arms, 2 (gigantic) legs. Yeah that's about it. Their most popular weapons of mass destruction... Is ironically.... a (gigantic) sword. Other variations include (gigantic) guns, (gigantic) beams of light spilling out of their mouths and the ever classic I-use-my-hand-which-has-just-been-broken-off-by-you-to-whack-you-ironically (insert gigantic where necessary). They're very colorful, purpose unknown. Some say it's to camouflage against the backdrop of blue and purple lasers lacing across the night sky, diu-diu-diu-diu~~~... Ahem sorry a bit too romantic. Others say the color attracts birds and the bees, like how flowers do. Well there's something with a tad of realism and sensibility...

So is this the cause of all the hype? Yes to a certain extent. But definitely not the ultimate reason. Let's delve in a little more....

Fight sequence:
Really.... it's just a gang fight.... magnified. No really...

Maintenance cost:
Very expensive. Costs 10 million gearbwable or whatever funny currency they have in the future...

Freedom fighters:
No that's just a stupid excuse for big gigantic robots to do battle with other big gigantic robots.

Well.... yeah.... that pretty much sums it up.... But the most important reason is!!!!!!!

Fart

Man that was CLASSIC.

Ah well.... robots are cool.... all hail my editing skills

I waited so long for the stinking exams to end,and after they have,I came to the shocking realization that i do not have the financial resources to do ANY of the things i set of to do after the exams!!!I went to my ATM and she told to get a job.GET A JOB?GET A JOB!?!?!?!?ARE YOU F*CKING CRAZY!?!?!

Of course,I didn't say that out loud.Cool people DO NOT take up part time student jobs for the following reasons.

Service Jobs(eg. Attending to customers in a shop)

This field of work exposes an individual to the highly feared creature known as the tai tai with nothing better to do.These heinously horrendous hippos simply live off their rich,pitiful husbands and spend their time playing mahjong,chatting with friends and shopping.I do not have any taichi with the species in general,just a certain type,the nothing better to do,western-educated and I-think-I'm-the-most-important-person-in-the-world-type.They come into a shop and immediately call for assistance by exclaiming a single "OI!","HELLO!" or "HEY!" at the nearest hapless shop assistant and looks at the assistant from head to toe before making demands to try on something along the lines of every single piece of clothing in the shop.

These are some of the things they do that bring about a serious aversion to working.

1.Ask for sizes way too small cause they think they're very young,petite and slim when they're not,and then complain that the shop's clothes are lousy because they do not fit.The pitiful shop assistant does not even dare to suggest a larger size as he/she is afraid to aggravate the creature.

2.Hog the changing room looking at herself like very pretty liddat...

3.Talk in a very loud voice with that annoying pseudo-Ang Moh accent.

4.Continue to use the Ang Moh accent even though the assistant is clearly befuddled by her enunciation.

5.Look irritably at assistant when her grunting commands are not understood.

6.Spend a long time at the shop trying on stuff even though she had no intention of buying anything from the start.(Who needs Giordano and Bossini when your husband pays for Armani and Gucci?)


And the one I simply do not have the heart to witness

6.Drags her docile husband with her to the shop on weekends and commands the husband to carry stuff,wait for her etc...Men are supposed to be superior to women!!!


And I have even see a particular Tai Tai interestingly ask a shop assistant if there would be extra charges for the assistant's help.I tried hard not to laugh as the poor 14/15/16 y/o girl stood there with 'stun' written all over her face.

Next time,I will continue to rant,rave and ridicule student jobs.

I'm out of cool lessons to impart...Nah,blatant lie.I just don't wanna share my divine wisdom with unworthy people.However,to benefit the loyal imaginary regular readers of this blog,I will continue to inject subtle hints and tips into postings of events in my super cool super awesome life to aid you along in your quest of achieving super coolness and attracting all the chio bus you can possibly wish for.Ok...Im really starting too sound too much like a certain someone...


The Lessons for today are....

1.You know that green monster with long arms in yo gabba gabba?His name is spelt b-r-o-b-e-e not g-r-o-b-y.Many thanks to my cool cousin for this bit of information.

2.Shooting air gun pellets at beer cans and your neighbours' retractable cloth roofs(you know the one that goes in and out to expose and cover laundry according to the weather?) is really really fun...

3.Shining a laser pointer into your neighbours windows when they are asleep or preparing to sleep is great fun too.

OKay.Im 100% gonna pretend i did this on purpose.Its not as if the following happened.

I was messing about with the html till the blog couldn't display properly.So i went down to blogskins.com to find some new skins,and all im greeted by is a load of not cool,not fierce,not awesome skins which dripped with enough emo and angst to make my hair stand with so much force they get torn out of my hair follicles...

The decent ones i found of lions,tigers,dragons or phoenixies,all super fierce stuff i wanna have on my car next time,happened to have flawed or shitty html coding.I cant even imagine reading this much coolness in a text box the size of a tenth of my monitor.

So im just gonna use another one of the skins provided by blogger and claim i spent lots of effort giving the site a facelift.So there.

http://ifile.it/2bskz47

I really like it.Not disclosing the source,although Peanut probably already knows...

Poor..Abysmal...Catastrophic...Just some words to describe how my hunt for engrish went.China has seriously taken its standard of english to the next level.There are barely any more signs of engrish anywhere!!!Nevertheless,I did manage to find a few.Though they are both not as hilarious and glaringly wrong as previous engrish discoveries.Seriously speaking,some of them may not even be engrish.Sigh...

Aww man....My booger is really starting to irritate my nasal tract!
So is it okay if I do it in a systematic manner?This empty plastic bottle goes into the sea...And this drink packet goes 10 m diagonally 10 degress clockwise from the lamp post,while the beer can should be parallel 30m to the west of the drink packet...


Haha...Creative


Shit man.Slovenly is actually an English word.And i had no idea what i meant before this.See how good China English has become?


I presume they were talking about the air conditioning,if not I would really hate to get into a race with one of these things...