HELLO KIDS!! If you're bored of idiotic birthday parties, which are too pussy for you.... Well we've got a great alternative!! THE CAKE, oops i mean CABBAGE!!



Ah what fun!! Cabbages can also be used for great presents. It only costs 1.26, and it 's big ^^.

YIPPEEE!!!!Peanut turns 5 next week!So we held a really happy joyous sunshiney birthday party for him today!Complete with a birthday cabbage and a really big candle!Unfortunately,camwhoring does not come naturally to us.We attribute this to the high amount of compensation we have had to pay out to camera owners after our super powerful ultimate shuai-ness failed to be contained within a few measely pixels,devastating their pathetic cameras.As a result,we cannot display all the cool things we did today.But I shall list them out so that others can celebrate their birthdays in an manner that might be more MANLY!!!YEAHH!!!

-Buy a birthday cabbage for the birthday boy/girl (a withered cabbage will do for a girl)

-=) What to do next is a surprise that will be covered in our next release,the adventures of mister cabbage.

-Cremate a cockroach. (Preferabbly live.But we did it to a dead cockroach)

-Enjoy a seafood treat

-Create a birthday candle with oyster shells and set it alight,singing a birthday song at maximum volume in a crowded hawker centre wearing your school PE shirt.

-Oyster onion ice shake for the birthday boy!

-Play drive-bys and gangfights on roller blades and bikes.

-Wipeout a lot.

-Get up and start blasting school cheers while campers are trying to sleep in their tents.

Here are some pictures of our birthday cabbage ceremony.











Having experienced natural high,I shall now do a detailed analysis of the differences between natural,and alcoholic high.

Natural High
-U feel like doing stupid stuff and you look sane doing it

BOOZE!!!
-You just do stupid stuff and look really dumb.


Natural High
-You feel the warm fuzzy feeling of friendship.Awww....

BOOZE!!!
-What feelings?I don't feel anything.Ugh...get outta my way wall...Ugh...Gimme something to
hug...


Natural High
-You can walk and talk coherently

BOOZE!!!
-WHEEE!!!HEHEHEHEHEH!!!Stagger Stagger Fall


Natural High
-Wipeouts don't really hurt cause friendship cures the pain...

BOOZE!!!
-Roll Roll Roll...Did I just fall down a flight of stairs?THAT WAS FUN!LETS DO IT AGAIN!!!Why's my arm twisted like that...


Natural High
-You leave reluctantly,not wanting the night with your loved ones to end.

BOOZE!!!
-Screw off guys..i wanna go home and hit the sack...


Natural High
-You wake up the next morning appreciating life even more and wanting to meet your loved ones again.

BOOZE!!!
-My head...Feel like puking..Blehh..Blehh...Ugh...I'm never touching booze again. (The day after)
HEY!LETS GO FOR A DRINK!

And the obvious verdict?Booze wins.Hands down.No arguments here.

What FUN!!!Today is HBL(Home based learning) DAY!!I am so happy and exhilrated and..and...forget it...I'll stop before i break out into spamming torrents of stuff about Mr happy Sun,ice cream,playgrounds,and little bunnies and furry animals frolicking in the lush green fields illuminated by the warm rays from the heart of Mr Happy Sun.

I have to say that Home based learning might actually be pretty conducive if more work had gone into it.The physics powerpoint was awesome.(Went through it in 20 minutes instead of the usual 1 hour lecture)But what really takes the cake today was the GP 'lesson of sorts'.I have affixed screenshots of the lesson,which seriously redefines conducive study and what school should really be about.

Wait...The above paragraphed sounded overly mature/super lame and unmanly.I shall now provide a demo of what school should be about,based on detailed studies carried out by Professor Waffle on the psyche of widdle kiddies.
The day should start with lots of FUN!!!So that children will all look forward to coming to school!!YAY!!!

And...And..And...the school canteen should sell lollipops and candy!!!And..And...And...GUMMY BEARS!!!

And I just received notification that this blog post is not compulsory,so I'll stop here...

A certain CCA has just been brought to my attention,and it has sent my idiocity-o-meter into serious overdrive.This might be something I actually display the least bit of enthusiasm for!

Blogging!

Meetings are held once a month and all I have to do is blog about random stuff!Which is what I'm doing right now to pass time!Wait...Not on coolduderesource!?School blog!?!?NO SEXIST OR DEGRADATORY CONTENT!!!!POSITIVE NON TWISTED VIEWS!?!?!

Thanks for that feedback rational side of the brain,I'm not interested anymore...Or maybe I could encode my sexist messages...Alright enough of that.

Yupps!OMG DID I JUST USE THE WORD 'yupps'!!?!?!?!?Ugh...screw it.I meant YEAH HARDCORE!!!YEAH!!!!RAWRRRR!!!!NEW BLOGSKIN!!!MANLY ULTIMATE YEAH!!!!

All I've been getting are positive reviews about my choice of blogskin from the other CDR contributors

-- !Pзαημт ∙ ẀЯχ §Τi ĢČ8υ "what's peanut in jap?" says:
it's gay
-- !Pзαημт ∙ ẀЯχ §Τi ĢČ8υ "what's peanut in jap?" says:
IT'S FRIGGIN ICKY POO!!
-- !Pзαημт ∙ ẀЯχ §Τi ĢČ8υ "what's peanut in jap?" says:
YUCK YUCKS DOUBLE YUCKS
Iron Cobra, Flying Dragon says:
GAY GAY GAY GAY BLOG SKIN
Iron Cobra, Flying Dragon says:
Fuck!! rl;y gay

Ahhh...Such positive feedback simply warms my heart and drives me to push on in this cold desolate world...

IS THIS THE END OF COOLDUDERESOURCE??? Just to grab your attention so that you'll be more willing to read my emo rants. I apparently do have the inspiration to rant about certain groups of people in my school. Because my school... is well... that kind of school, but i just don't have the luxury of time to do so. Anyway Waffle mentioned "intellectually elite", but I really do not believe that they are even a tenth as smart as me. Or Waffle. Or any of the cool dude affiliates... except a certain iron ore member... As a future (hopefully) co-president (co- because another guy apparently has the same idea and I was somehow forced into co-operating with him. Moral? Don't ever commit. Ever.) of literary club (he was rather insistent on naming it Writers' Society. I told him to screw off), I would like to take this opportunity to showcase my literary talent to bring across a point so full of complex meanings and philosophies, to portray the current mix of emotions during this current phase of mine:

School sucks. No serious.

And it doesn't help one bit to be in a school with uncool teachers, unlike the people at coolduderesource, and to a worser extent, uncool students, the part which I really can't stand. And of course how could I forget? Nearly 50% of the students there are girls, which I still think do not exist in this realm of space time. I only have eyes for the pretty 2 dimensional girls (not the ones Waffle draw though). But they take up space and makes everything so crammed, so it's quite hard to ignore them anyway.

There are a couple of things which i learnt in my school, of which i see the duty to impart this wisdom onto you nonexistant readers.

1. Toilets are more of fixing your gravity-defying hair than anything else
2. Our school theme song sounds like it was ripped off from NDP.
3. There aren't any lifts to abuse, unlike in a certain ex-secondary school.
4. Lectures are for sleeping with your eyes closed, and tutorials are for sleeping with your eyes open.
5. 10 hours at school each day can't be healthy.
6. Valentine's day is bullshit.
7. I still think that they should set up a techno club, but this school's pretty uptight about new ccas...
8. Most students at my school refuse to choose the better alternative FOR EVERYTHING.
9. The 2nd most irritating kind of people are those who are immature but try not to act immature.
10. The most irritating kind of people is me. Wait that isn't even grammatically correct...
11. A matt trying to pick a fight with you is fun stuff.

OK with that impartment of wisdom, I wish that your IQ has at least increased by -50. Ah speaking of which i was looking through the IQ improvement book, it was great shit ^^. Waffle i think you should go read through it again... Signing off, Peanut.

The quality of posts is going down the drains.No,actually,drains is a major understatement.More like the giant long kang next to my primary school.It is unfortunate but i will have to inform all you devotees that I am gradually losing my touch of coolness.I can feel it slowly being eroded by our LOVELY EDUCATION SYSTEM!I would love to rant against the gahmen,but I have an IQ of above 100,so i won't.

Another one of the many reasons is that I am now surrounded by the intellectual elite.Sad to say,the education system has taken its toll of many of them.(Either that or they're really good actors)None of them are as cool/immature as my brudders for me to draw inspiration from to churn out stupid posts.

And the biggest reason,a massive drop in the people I cant rant about.While VS used to be infested with matts,my new school is well,filled with smart people.And even the matts seem to have taken on a low profile.With the main source of inspiration gone,I know not how much longer I can keep going on.

-Proceeds with another 1 gazillion words of emo ranting-

As such,I have justified why posts will get even less frequent.Did I mention anything about me being lazy or admitting that I'm getting dumber?No?Oh.Ok.Thats good

Hey people!I know you non-existent readers who religiously follow what I post on this blog were refreshing this page a gazillion times over yesterday wondering why no rant against VD has been uploaded.Well,here it is,after the great WaFFLe has decided to take time off his busy elite JC schedule.Better late than never yeah?

And on a different note,my mother/personal driver broke a new speed limit today.60kmph on the PIE!!!I now have no doubt in mind that 90% of traffic jams and super violent accidents are caused by female drivers.

I shall begin with some stuff I find really annoying about VD.

Matching cutesy couple Ts.These make me totally feel like puking.If they really want to wear matching clothes they can get enlisted in some mental hospital and stagger around happily in their identical straitjackets.Then again,I think anyone who condones wearing a stupid looking T shirt for his/her "loved one" probably should have been detained in a sanitarium long ago.
(Picture does not accurately depict the words written on these shirts,which make my hair stand so much i do not wish to draw them out)


Flowers.Not that I have anything against them.I just hate their ridiculous pricing and the fact that so many plants suffered decapitation for the sake of silly couples.(Actually,I'm just sore about having spent 5 dollars on them.It was for pride ok!?I don't like gorging on people'e chocolate and not giving anything in return.)
Stupid guys bringing their acoustic guitars to the beach and singing some gay ass pop song for their girlfriends,who apparently all seem to be completely deaf,and are actually enjoying what sounds to me like... really bad pop music.Ew...As if pop music on its own wasn't bad enough.

And not forgetting...THE FACT THAT NO SG GIRLS ARE COOL/AWESOME/FUNNY/WITTY/PRETTY/DOCILE/OBEDIENT ENOUGH TO BE WORTHY OF MY TIME.

And so as not to be accused for being absolutely unobjective,I shall now post solutions to all these pesky Vday problems.

Flamethrower.Not much needs to be said.Just raze all the mushy nonsense to the ground.

Metal band.Just bring them all to the beach to belt out hardcore metal songs and drown out the stinking pop music from cheap acoustic guitars.

Imagination.Just pretend you have the perfect girl and...give up after 5 seconds,go online,and chat with other lonely people on VD night.

All right,that's it from me.

Recommended reading:Phin Wong's VD article in the Valentine Day's eve Today Newpaper.

EDIT:Whoops!I forgot to post a solution to the last issue about the quality of girls in Singapore.The only solution of sorts I can conceive would be to make them read this blog 24/7 for 20 years,analysing dissecting and assimilating every letter until they turn cool.At least they can have decent personalities.But they'll be old hags by the time they're done...All the better.Then there'll be fewer babies...Let's not get carried away,that is a different topic for a different day.

School starts tomorrow.A dark cold unfamiliar place and that awkward feeling of meeting people you know but you aren't close to.All your brothers have left you.Yes,this is the situation i find myself in.And i will now post a lengthy intellectual essay about my deepest thoughts and emotions.

FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck
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The end

Oh.and one more thing.Don't read this if you get squirmish reading "coarse language".