<( ' ' )> Saturday, June 6, 2009
While I would have loved to have launched a verbal assault on the random guy who sauntered in and started doubting our undeniable coolness, I fear that the volume of sarcasm dripping out of my computer from such an act would cause the silicon chips and what-nots to short circuit.So,i have decided to do another rambling blog post (probably my third) about RAMBO!!!
I shall now glorify everything that Rambo does in Rambo 3 which simply goes beyond the realm of manly into the unfathomable depths of KICKASS HARDCORE BADASS AWESOME MANLY!!!
I shall now type the rest of my blog post in CAPITAL LETTERS as an outlet for the sheer volume of adrenaline coursing through my veins after having watched one and a half hours of...stuff which simply escapes the ability the English Language has in describing its awesomeness. Perhaps i should use Chinese instead!Kidding...me cheena very feng he ri li.like zou jie lun.
OK TO START WITH,RAMBO GOT HIT WITH SHRAPNEL.SO WHAT DID HE DO!?!?HE BROKE OFF THE TOP BIT AND FORCED THE BOTTOM BIT OUT BY PUSHING IT OUT OF HIS FLESH!!!and here i was complaining about my microscopic lobe piercing...this guy has a hole THROUGH HIS FRIGGIN..ERM...stomach area?Diagram included to better describe postion of shrapnel insertion.
AND THAT'S NOT ALL!!WHAT DID HE DO NEXT!??!HE POURED GUNPOWDER INTO THE FRIGGIN WOUND AND FUCKING SET IT ALIGHT!!!SO THERE'S LIKE FIGGIN FIRE COMING OUT OF THE WOUND!!!IM LIKE HOLY SHIT!!!THAT GUY IS HARDCORE!!!
NEXT,HE WAS LIKE YOU KNOW?LIKE...YOU KNOW?LIKE!!!*GASP GASP GASP*FIGHTING WITH THIS GUY,AND THEN HE TIES A FUCKING CHORD ROUND THE GUY'S NECK AND LIKE PLUCKS OUT THE PIN FROM THE GRENADE STRAPPED TO THE GUY'S CHEST AND SHOVES HIM DOWN A HOLE!!!SO LIKE!!!THE GUY GETS HANGED AND U KNOW WHAT!?!!
HE HAD THE SHIT BLOWN OUT OF HIM!!!HOW HARDCORE IS THAT!?!?!BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
OKAY,AND NEXT YOU KNOW LIKE THIS BIG HELICOPTER COMES FLYING SHOOTING MISSILES AND BULLETS AT RAMBO,AND WHAT DOES RAMBO DO!?!?!?!
HE USES A BOW AND ARROW!!!A FUCKING SET OF A BOW AND AN ARROW!!!AND BLOWS UP THE ENTIRE HELICOPTER!!!IT WAS LIKE...BOOOOOOOOMMMMMM~~!!!
AND NEXT,THS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST AWESOME PART OF THE ENTIRE MOVIE.THIS FRIGGIN HUGE HELICOPTER COMES AFTER RAMBO DROPPING BOMBS AND FIRING LIKE 10 GAZILLION BULLETS A SECOND AT RAMBO,AND WHAT DOES RAMBO DO!?!?!
HE FUCKING RAMS A TANK!!!A STINKING TANK!!!!STRAIGHT INTO THE HELICOPTER!!!HE RAMS A TANK INTO THE HELICOPTER!!!A TANK!!!AND HE DOES IT WHILE HE'S STILL INSIDE THE TANK!!!STILL INSIDE THE TANK!!!AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!?!?!?BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM~~~~!!!!
Gasp.gasp.gasp.Ok,I'm out of breath from all that virtual ranting.All those facebook bad-ass quizzes really get into your brain.If the SAF showed all the rambo movies to every single recruit entering NS, I don't think the army would have any slackers.But then again,I don't think a bunch of guys carrying huge guns spraying bullets all over the place can be considered much of an army....