<( ' ' )> Tuesday, July 1, 2008
You should all practice writing more!So says my English teacher.As such,I have decided to endow this site with my wise rantings for the enlightenment of the not-so-cooltelectually gifted.
Time for an analysis of a typical narrative composition.
It was a bright and sunny day,the sun shone high in the azure blue sky,its wide rays gleaming off the rippling surface of the oasis(although i have nfi what an oasis is doing in the middle of Tanjong Katong),casting a picturesque vision of a sea of gleaming gold into my eyes.
I got up,and decided to take a walk outside to enjoy the cool fresh morning air.(Again,I have no idea why so many composition protagonists in super cliche stories simply love going for walks when a contraption called the computer exists.)
At the traffic junction,(Ugh...I can already see where the story is going)I saw a small boy rushing across the road.And to my absolute surprise(The traffic light was red),the traffic light was red!(See?Toldja so)
We all know where things go from here,you chivarously dive into harm's way and rescue that little wriggling,sticky whinny blob of a child and get universal praise.Oh.clap clap clap.The honour.Time for a little Waffle styled remix...
Immediately,I got into my souped up Monster Truck,started the 70000bhp engine,and roared out of my driveway as the little tyke continued to preambulate moronically on the road.To my absolute horror,that little slimeball proved a harder target than i expected!I floored the pedal.
My car surged forward like a car surging forward,its engine roaring like a primal beast.The little boy came closer and closer.THEN I!!!!!!!Got out of the car,stopped pretending my bicycle was a 70000bhp monster truck and said,the pedophilish glint in my eye too apparent to hide.
"Boy,I got sweet.You want?Come follow me."I grinned as the little sucker took the bait.I could already picture the things i would do to him.I would....
Force him to stuff ten jars of peanut butter down his masticatory orfice everyday for the next twenty years or so...
Excellent,no?Such unpredictablilty,such ingenuity.Incredible