<( ' ' )> Saturday, March 29, 2008
Peanut here. Ok ok having a cool blog does not mean that you'll instantly become cool. The way you carry yourself in the outside world is also just as important as the online world. So let's follow some easy steps:
Many people have a sucky sense of dressing. Now dressing is extremely important. Cos first impression does matter in the world of coolness. To be defined to have a cool sense of clothing by other cool dudes, you must wear clothings that defy the laws of physics. You must put on an oversized cap, a pants which droops down until the buttocks, a belt which doesnt help at all, a shirt on top of a shirt which says something totally cool like "Wheetarded me". Of course a cool person wouldn't know whether it is physics-defying or not as he does not have the mental capacity to process that kind of information, but no matter. Just try your best.
This is important. Cool people DO NOT like intelligent people. It seems as if cool dudes do not have an affinity towards intelligence. If you say something as complicated as "bannana", it's of the most likeliness that you be answered with puzzled looks and gaping jaws. You give them a maths sum to do, and they think that it's an advertisement. Perhaps the only way to communicate with them is to say things like "lubb" and "darr". If you use the real english terms, most likely they would not understand.
Many cool dudes just love to slather their hair with sticky substances in an effort to compete with each other on who can defy gravity the best using their hair. This contributes to global warming, makes your hair drop, and dust & dirt also get trapped in their hairs. I wonder what comes out of it when they bath at night... Anyway, unhealthy as it seems, some things must be given up for the greater good.
Earrings, chains etc etc. Those are classified under bling bling. Cool dudes like to wear bling because they can cause more car accidents when crossing the road at night, as the xenon lights of the car shine onto these bling, and gets reflected back into the eyes of the driver. Thus causing an accident. They also wear it just in case lightning strikes, and when it does, the bling attracts the lightning away from the surrounding area and strikes the cool dude, giving up his life for the greater good. Therefore bling is good for being cool.
Ok I'll stop here. Of course there are many other things which you should look out for, but i hadn't the time to do it. Let me practise my cool vocab. BHUAIII MUACKS LUBB YOU DAR DAR!
See you next time!